Title:

I didn't know what to put for the title so as you can see i named this one 'title'


So it's the 22nd of December and a couple of days until Christmas, problem is i don't feel christmassy not at all, and the new year is coming up, the new year just reminds me of what a waste of time the past year has been. I haven't achieved much in 2010, tbh it hasn't been a great year. So i have set this blog off on a very negative vibe, and I'm trying to think of something to lift the vibe,............................ nope cant think of anything :/ Got a letter through from the college, and it basically says i got in (: so I'm one step closer to growing up eeeeeek, I'm doing a course in music theatre whoop whoop, one way where you can be such a drama queen and not get mucky looks, get in!


It seems i have written very little, feels like i have wrote loads, Ive tended to keep things too myself recently, except when i get drunk, everything comes out, and its not a pretty sight! So maybe that's why I'm finding it a bit difficult to find anything interesting to say. I seem to have made amends with certain people who i thought i had lost contact with, which is good. I spent some of my early Christmas money on Christmas presents which I'm quite proud of :D 


New years revolutions:
-BE A BETTER PERSON!: this is top of my list as i feel like an absolute bitch sometimes, and i don't like myself when I'm like that.
-Realise that boys aren't everything
- CONCENTRATE ON WORK AND LEARNING!: else I'm going to get nowhere :S
-Spend some more time with the fam as it is key atm


I bet on the actual night i will have thought of waaaaaay more than that, but for now good bye, and mereh cwismas and an 'appy newh year ;) xo




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Everythings slowwwwww

So i think its time for a moaning sesh, as i said in my title, everythings slooooooooooooooooow, i feel that my life has just come to a hault and its not going anywhere, or its going as slowly as it possible could be.


These past couple of weeks have been hard for me, and i have to worry about exams coming up next week, but with so much going on its hard to revise. This is just an excuse i suppose but i just literally cant be bothered, im failing in subjects that im just not concentrating in, even the ones i actually like! this is the best/unusual way of describing it but i just feel BLEAUUGHHHHHHHH! If i sit down for too long then my feet dont seem to work, and i cant be arsed to move..


For instance tonight, i must have been sat at this computer desk for about 5 hours! Facebook seems to make the minutes move faster, and so does ellie goulding 'your song' which i have been playing on repeat for about 3 of those 5 hours.


So i guessed you have gathered that i am simply not in the mood for anything right about now, so im going to leave on an 'optimistic' note (lol) and love you and leave you. Maybe not love you, but we'll see :D


short but simple, but...... 再见 :)

were growing up:)

So this is my second attempt at writing this blog, as i was searching through an ex's profile, trying to find our old conversations:(, my computer decides to turn off on me, oh well life does go on haha!

So ive come to the conclusion that we are finally growing up:/ we cant just hide behind our mummy's or daddy's and just laugh the pain away. We need to make decisions, its time to take the next journey we need to go on and that is sixth form/college/early jobs. I'm in high school and will be leaving in June-ish, part of me is like, Yeaaaaah! no school! going to be a blast! another part of me is like ohhhh dear ive got to get on and not be a kid anymore. Tis some scary sh1t.

 So another dilema that is before me at the moment is which place is the best?! this decision takes you to when your practically an adult, im absolutely cacking my pants about the future i have no idea what to do, and now i have no idea what to write about. See the thing is at the moment i seem to get distracted very easily, for instance im happy doing something for a short period of time but after a while i get bored. I get bored VERY easily. So what will stop me from getting bored in this new environment?! The best thing to do is go with what i do best, and i think im going to go to a local-ish college and do performing arts.

Sorry for the dead-beat blog, was just something that was plaguing my mind at the moment in time.

A certain bestfriend practically begged me for a mention, so heres to you francesca marsden, who inspired to start this in the first place, ... and how you say it 'love for you.

;)
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Music :)

I think i have finally decided to devote my life to music, its what i am born to do. I was writing yet another song yesterday and was thinking, i like doing this, im kind of good at it, so why not make it a career. Except im not that confident, i mean i am, i could easily sing infront of thousands of people and it wouldnt bother me, but im not that confident in getting myself sorted.

Im a lazy person, and if theres a lot of work involved i simply wont do it. Ive grown up thinking it was okay, just not bother with things because someone will always do it for me, I suppose.

But i really want this, i want to become famous and for people to know my name, i know that is completely self-centered and ridiculous, but i cant help it.

Im an ok-ish singer, but i just dont think i have what it takes to make it big, have been considering going on x-factor and all that nonsense, but im just not sure. I cant play an instrument, but still i can make music and i can make lyrics which sound decent, so whats stopping me from doing what i want? I suppose its always been a dream, never the reality. Ive spent my whole life on stage so why cant i spend the  rest of my life doing what i want?

Question still stands, and i will pondor over it for some time :/

gratitude for the people i love.

So i sat there in pcse thinking 'oo, ill write a blog tonight' and then asked the best friends what to write about, and they said i should talk about them, so here it is a blog for the besties :))

KATE HAMPSHIRE:
One of THE bestiest friends in the world, she has always been therefore me, always! everybit of my highschool years. Shes been there. Kate is the most hilarious person i know, im not joking everyday i always laugh at her! she doesnt even realise shes doing it, thats just kate. She is aboslutly stunning, even though she doesnt realise it! I have too many memouries with this girl there is no point writing this all down. I hope this girl stays with me untill im grey and wrinkly and even then she will be getting me into trouble and being terribly mischevious, but its worth it :)) Love you xxxxxx

SHANSHAN BUTTERWORTH:
Shannon is a best friend, always has been always will be. Right from when she came back to mine and had TWO bowls of my stepmums amazing stir frys, to now where we get on each others tits quite a lot, but if anything happened we'd be straight for each other. I dont care how we have fought, she knows that that  i love her. and we've got plugs!! plug buddies, yeaaaaaa boy, cept hers glows in the dark, its sick. love for you homie xoxoxox

GABBY DICKINSON:
Even though she probally wont read it, i still love you, i walk to school and from school with this girl, and she always cheers me up for the day. i can behave like an absolute twat around her and shes not fussed at all. btw i only love you for your wonderful taste in disney films ;) i joke! i joke! i love you really xxxxxxxx

FREDIE OTTER-SHARP:
Apparently ive known fredie since, i was like 7, we met at the village swimming pool, and i, embarrasingly, introduced myself. Fate brought us together, hahah. You may be fooled by the blonde hair and fantastic phisique, but i know the real fredie, she caring and honest, and has an amazing house for sleepovers ;) and shes the best for advice, EVER! honestly shes good. trust. Loveyou, love you, loveyou xxxxxxxx



All these love confessionals, are not at all in a lesbian way, these are my girls and they mean the world to me.

P.S Next blog is to be entirely devoted to the best nursery bud, francesca marsden- whos last blog was amazing.
Pp.s I promise the next next blog will be about more important things, like hair or clothes ;)

bye :)

Hahahahahahahaha!

Im having fun again, i think! Im appreciating things again :) had a rough day today though, as i was soooooooooooo tired, i could have killed someone -__- i think things are turning up again, im looking at things on the bright side again.

Certain things have made me laugh out loud recently, an enemy who i had COMPLETLY forgotten about, still has beef and decides to post all over facebook about my 'ginger' hair, i mean yes, i am a bit ginger, but it really doesnt bother me, dont get me wrong i think shes pathetic and everything, i just cant do with beef, when its not needed.

Another thing ive realised is how actually jealous and pathetic can people be, why are some people introduced just to be arguementative, demanding and controlling. There is absolutly no neeed! Some people just need to grow up and behaive like an actual human being rather than being a spoilt petty animal.

Sorry for the bitching session, but was needed :)
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Positive.

so after getting in alot of trouble for the other blogs
IVE decided to be positive, noone wants to hear you moan and droan on about the past, its time to look to the future.

So here i am blasting out katy b, contemplating what to do, tbh i dont quite know what to do, boy wise, i dont have a clue, i like this person but its wrong, i cant like him. Thats just it. my normal tune is to just go for it, but this one i have to keep hush about. Just go with the flow is my friends motto, but sometimes i dont know how he can just sit there and wait for things to happen. I personally have to go and grasp them within my fingers, but this time its just a no-no.

I hate not being as close to people as i was, its the same with everyone not just friends. This is how sad i really am, i miss my old music teacher he was the best. But hes moved on and busy making magic elsewhere, which is exactly what i want to do sometimesl. On the other hand, quelquefois, i like to staying inside, where noone can see me noone can tell who i am. And nobody really wants to know, and its ok, its fine! I just dont know what to do, im stuck in a rut abit, and im not liking it.

Aahwell, i promise an even more positive one next timeeeeeeee :)
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Quelquefois-sometimes.