I started to write a post and then i thought id look back on my latest one to see what id put last and woah how things have changed in a couple of months, so now i feel the need to fill you in.
Reet,
remember i told you about the first dickhead who messed me about? welllllllllllllllllllllllll, he messaged me like a month or 2 ago and then basically we were talking again and me stupidly went back to him and then it was all going very well and he was genuinely sorry and he really wanted to make it up to me and then we were on and off, he stopped talking for a while because of family reasons and so things we're shaky from there. Anyway long story short turns out i should have never gone back to him as as soon as i was unsure about the whole thing and said so, he flipped started calling me all the names under the sun, and being a right cunt. ... again, nice one (Y)
so yeah atm i suppose im pretty chilled. I honestly dont want to moan and drag on about all the shit things happening, makes me sound like a reet moany cow, and i dont want to be percieved as that. Lets just say things aren't going the way i want it to go. I want to be happy.
There's a little niggling in the back of head right now and yet again its do with a boy :P honestly i dont have feelings for him (not that type of whinge) well i did but not anymore. Just he's playing on my mind about the way i treated him. I know im such a hypocrite moaning on about how guys play me, but i feel awful about how i treated this one guy. We we're friends before but not anymore. He started a blog now actually and im hoping he's reading this. Sorry if im repeating myself but thats honestly how bad i feel i cant think straight when im trying to explain. It all happened a while ago but everytime i see his picture or something about him i feel guilty, and thats not hard seeing as he's best friends with my best friend. I want to be friends. I want it to be ok, and tbh i miss you :(
Im sorry.
Nice negative vibe to end on there ;)
bye pal
xxx
And btw i never got round to writing that song |
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